Laughing in the face of criticism

I’m not new to criticism and hate mail.

When I was growing up, whenever my father (who happens to be a journalist) got a new letter from some horribly offended reader, it was cause for excitement. My family would sit around and have a good laugh at the closed-minded, humorless sentiments.

See, my dad has had many jobs throughout the years, but first and foremost, he is a humor columnist. Maybe I’m just saying this because he’s my dad or because we share the same “funny gene,” but he’s a pretty darn good humor columnist.

One of my favorite letters he’s ever gotten was when I was in the sixth grade, and he had just written about our new dog, Sammy.

Sammy was missing half her spine, ran on three legs and just looked ridiculously funny.

People didn’t understand that we hadn’t mutated the poor pup. She had been born that way, she wasn’t in any pain and she was living an extremely privileged life in the Cegielski household.

Letters poured in about what a cruel man my father must be, and one exceptionally perturbed reader called for my father to have his dogs and children taken away from him.

My sister and I thought it was hysterical.

Dad did too. He always told us that if he wasn’t evoking a reaction from people (good or bad) then he shouldn’t be writing. He’d rather make people angry than bore them.

For as many hate letters as Dad receives, he gets just as many (if not more) praising him.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the same nonchalant approach as my dad when it comes to negative feedback from ignorant people.

First let me say, I can take criticism quite well; I’m just not especially apt at receiving hateful, ignorant messages.

My immediate reaction is to fight back and show someone exactly how ignorant they are being. In all honesty, that is the only reason I ever got in trouble in high school. I never did bad things, but I did argue intently when my parents were being unreasonable.

I’m not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. I think sometimes in life we need to learn when to keep our mouths shut, while other times it is prudent that we speak up.

I tend to get vocal about things that don’t really matter.

So, do as I say, not as I do.

There is a time and a place for everything.

Some battles you have to let go. My first personal piece of “hate mail” came through Facebook, and I was just livid. The lady had taken things I had written out of context, jumped to conclusions that weren’t in my column and berated me for stuff that she had just assumed.

My brilliant editors calmed me down and told me what to say, but if it had been up to me, that lady would’ve eaten her words. My dad simply told me I should be excited that someone read my column and cared enough to seek me out.

I realized this was one of those battles that I just needed to let be. This lady was entitled to her opinion (however wrong it may have been), and there was nothing I could do to change her mind.

I wasn’t getting angry about world hunger or poverty. I was getting angry over silly remarks.

Seriously, I can do better than that.

My dad is probably the most infamous columnist in Laurel, Mississippi, but he taught me some valuable lessons.

“You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.”

Actually, I think some old country musician said that, but I’m not sure who. I don’t listen to county. Now, I’ll just sit her in anticipation for hate mail because I “dissed” country music. Oh, the joys of being a writer.